By Erica Leniczek
Text: Erica Leniczek - Images: Caitlyn Mary Photography
You’re on the farm, it’s a bright sunny day, you started things out by feeding, organizing, checking waters, and you’re ready for a good day. Then, you see cows out, the tractor breaks down, the baler is plugged, and everything goes downhill from there. Your significant other is in a bad mood, because why can’t things just go your way and why can’t things just happen for you instead of against you? Cue the feelings of loneliness, you’re the worst farmer in the world, you can’t support your spouse, and why do you even try.
Maybe the details of this story are a little bit different for you, but it still might sound familiar if you insert the details of your life. You aren’t alone, you know that deep down, but it doesn’t help you feel any better because you *feel* like the world is against you. Many people who work in the agriculture sector struggle with feelings of loneliness and dealing with the fact that things often don’t go their way. Usually, Murphy’s Law (if it can happen, it will happen), seems like it is happening in the “things that can go wrong” category.
Mother Nature does what she wants. Cows do what they want. Coyotes come into your yard without asking permission. Cats leave. Crops grow at the rate of Mother Nature. Really, in agriculture, there are so many unknowns and things that we can’t control that it can be so frustrating, challenging, heartbreaking and exhausting.
If you feel like you’re dealing with the unknowns, here’s an analogy to consider. In life, you’re holding a bunch of balls. Some are glass, some are rubber. The glass balls are the essential mental and physical health aspects that you can control (your nutrition, sleep, how much water you drink, your socialization, whether you go to your doctor every year, seeing a psychologist, etc.). The rubber balls are the things that we can’t control and the things that need to be able to bounce when we let go a little (the weather, how people react to what we say, when your cows calve, crop maturation rates, etc.). The thing about rubber balls is, if your balance goes off a little bit and we drop one, it bounces. If we need to side step and change our path as we are running in 17 different directions and it falls, it bounces. The thing about glass balls is that we have to hold those tight because if they fall, they break. If we try to do too much and lack sleep, we often feel like we are going to break. If we aren’t paying attention to our mental and physical health, we break. So in life, we have to find the glass balls and the rubber balls, and learn to let go of the rubber balls that will bounce while we hold onto the glass balls before we break.
Here are somethings to try if you feel like your dropping the metaphorical glass ball a little bit when things don’t go as planned:
- Focus on what you can control at that moment. This could be your breath, your attitude, your actions, your nutrition, the time you shut it down and go to bed, etc.
- Acknowledge that sometimes things just plain *suck* and allow yourself to feel those emotions.
- Don’t shove them down, get frustrated, scream for a moment into oblivion, write it in a journal.
- Use that emotional energy and move it in a productive manner into physical energy. Emotions are energy in motion, so learn to acknowledge your feelings and utilize them to your advantage.
If all else fails, remember: you have survived 100% of your hardest days, you can survive today too.