Meet our new columnist Erica Leniczek!
Text: Erica Leniczek & Kim Schoukens - Images: Caitlyn Mary Photography
As more and more online initiatives around farmers mental health are popping up online, it might look like our industry is finally opening up a little about this very important subject. Still, the situation can be very different on the farms, where isolation is a key factor. We read, or hear, about suicides in farmers far too often, but it is difficult to find the exact numbers and even harder to try and get those farmers to open up about how they feel.
One recurring fact that comes up regularly during our talks with the women who are featured in this magazine is that very often, it’s the women on the farm who communicate about this topic. They notice the men on the farm are not doing well. They try to bring it up. They bear a double emotional burden: their own, and another’s. They search for help. They try to shift things. At Women in Ag Mag, we thought it was time to lend these women a hand by making mental health a recurring feature. And who better to talk about ag mental health than a professional?
Introducing our new columnist and host of the Rural Mindset podcast Erica Leniczek!
Hey! I’m Erica. I am a first generation rancher living on my spouses 5th generation black angus operation in Central Alberta, Canada. I have a Bachelor of Science in Neuroscience, Psychology and Kinesiology, and a Bachelor of Education in Science Education and Community Health. On top of my two degrees I have 13 other certificates in mental health such as suicide intervention training, psychological first aid training, and a mindfulness instructor certification and a personal training certification.
I work to help bridge the gap between mental health and agriculture through my podcast, The Rural Mindset Podcast, where I offer in your pocket tips and interviews that help people realize they're not alone and bring light to various things you can do to help yourself and others. Through my business, The Brand Erica, I work public speaking, running masterminds, and offering one-on-one coaching to help individuals in rural settings live their best lives, decrease stressors, and handle anxiety and depression that can come from the challenges of rural living. I got into mental health after seeing the play “One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest” with my high school English class. I signed up for the Abnormal Psychology class through our high school distance learning center. I learned about Phineas Gage and how he got a railroad spike through his frontal lobe, but lived. I remember being amazed about human behavior and what can happen, and most importantly what we can live through. I was amazed by the human brain and body, and ultimately decided to study it in university eventually.
When I was in my 3rd year of university I was drugged, abducted, and sexually assaulted. I like to include this in my story, because that’s how I learned so much about personal growth, I learned my strengths and I learned my weaknesses. I learned what dissociation looks and feels like, and I learned about PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). I learned what tools work for me and that there are some other things that might work for others that did not work for me. I spent multiple years in counseling working through this trauma using techniques such as EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), animal assisted therapy, and talk therapy.
I was doing really great until 2018 when I moved up to the town where my spouses farm is to take my final practicum of my second degree. I didn’t set up myself properly, I didn’t seek help from my therapist, and I had no idea what I was walking into. I kept telling myself that as long as I have my horse and a gym, I’ll be fine. I thought that I could continue on, business as usual, and be able to keep my small town/city life with the farm life. How different could it be anyways? I was very used to driving to the bigger city to go to the doctor or see family, to shop and drive to a different town to get groceries. I figured I would be fine! I wasn’t. I needed much more and I needed many more tools that I didn’t even acknowledge that I had. I didn’t acknowledge how unique farm life was or how many challenges people who live out of town face that we don’t even talk about!
I have had my ups and downs since my original trauma, but I hadn’t ever felt as low, alone, and as hopeless as I was. It felt like in this new environment, no one liked me. I had people asking me what my problem was, why I didn’t like them, I was cornered and screamed at by colleagues that seemed out of the blue, and I couldn’t recognize the signs and symptoms of my own depression.
With everything that was happening I became more alone feeling and isolated - not only physically, but also mentally. I was driving 1.5 hours to and from work, 1.5 hours to see my horse, and I had no friends. I had no reason to leave the farm unless I made myself and I just felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. I was eating terribly, I didn’t want to workout (which is something I loved) and I gained 80ish lbs. I was feeling anxious going to work or going to ride and the things that I really enjoyed didn’t feel enjoyable anymore. Plus, I didn’t have any friends or people who knew about my trauma, but I wasn’t ready and didn’t have the energy to explain to people. I also didn’t feel like I knew them enough to tell them. I also felt like everyday was a dang marathon and that I couldn’t put myself first. I was putting everyone and everything else first, eating on the go, not sleeping and commuting a long commute to work, and without any friends or true support that I felt was safe and okay for me to share with. Plus, given the way “I got my dream life,” with the farm, animals, nature, and everything I thought I wanted at my disposal, I felt extremely guilty that I should be grateful for what I had, but I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and had no try left. It wasn’t long before I was in a very deep depression and I was suicidal. I told my spouse to move the guns out of our house and I made a doctor's appointment.
When I was down at my parents' house to go see my family doctor, I remembered my 3 month old puppy going underneath the trailer and I saw red. I couldn’t get myself out of that negative mindset, the anger, and the frustration that I felt in that moment. I knew that I had ask for help and that affirmed it, so I went to my doctor. We talked about how I was feeling and did a mental health check-in. She told me I was a great candidate for anti-depressant medication, but that I had to promise I would go back to counseling at the same time to work through what I was feeling. I sought out a new counselor that was closer to where I was living and started adding or retrying tools in my toolbox. I was lucky enough to find a counselor that was aware of rural life and being pretty isolated.
Fast forward a couple of months and I was sitting in a wellness conference where I heard the statistics of mental health problems in agriculture, and I knew I had to and could do something to help make the change and bridge the gap. Not long after, I started The Brand Erica, where I work with clients internationally to help them learn proactive mental health tools so that eventually people know and speak of mental health the way we talk about hydrating and drinking water each day. I have found through my experience and my business that people tough it out until there is a crisis and then there is a huge response. I want to stop the crisis and the idea that we need to tough it out; I would like to see us opening the mental health conversation and giving people proactive strategies so that they don’t end up alone and hopeless feeling like I did, whether that is through learning how to support others, learning the signs of mental health struggles with your loved ones and yourself, or learning how to advocate for yourselves.
I started my podcast (The Rural Mindset Podcast) in February of 2022, because I wanted to broadcast my knowledge in an easily accessible way to as many farmers and individuals in ag that I could. Podcasting was something that I could do when I didn’t feel like making video content or taking photos if I was having a lower day myself or feeling the affects of our life on the farm, but something that was globally accessible and easy for people to listen to while working! On my podcast I have interviews of people telling their mental health in ag stories, plus professionals that talk about the importance of overall health. I focus on telling my story and the things that I do or have done coupled with an educational piece of things that others can do that I have learned through my education.
I am very excited about starting a Mental Health In Ag column for the Women In Ag magazine, because I think women are the glue that holds everything together. I hear so often that women can’t show they are struggling or having a bad day, because then their husbands will know how bad it is, or that they are the ones who are the ears for everyone else on their operation. Women often manage so many aspects of a farm and somehow keep it all together, so this is another way that I can give back to a community and niche of people that I understand and am extremely proud to be part of, and I am hopeful that this is just another way that I can share my knowledge to help some people never feel how I did. I am excited to cover topics like supporting loved ones, personal care for caregivers, boundaries, and many more!
If you have a topic you would like me to speak about either in Women in Ag or on The Rural Mindset Podcast, please feel free to reach out to Kim or myself and I will make sure I support you in that way.